Two's a company, But Three is better!

Menage a trois: It's French for what seems to be on everyone's mind these days.

Having "double the fun" with two ladies seems to be every straight male's No. 1 fantasy. At least for all the guys in my friend's list. But with so much talk about two gals and a guy, what happens when girl meets boy meets boy?

This idea of having sex with more than the usual singular partner, is fast becoming the next "in" thing. A phenomena that hits every nation, every country, every race and gender. Has Threesomes become an added feature in the Sanskrit literature of love, The Kamasutra? Is more definitely better, when it comes to bedroom playtime?

Known some people who engage in threesomes as part of their weekly activity. Be it married or single. None of these affect the ability to HAVE threesomes. Why do people do it? What are the implications of threesomes? In my opinion, never engage in something you will just lose control of later.

"To each his own"

Let us take a look at the psychological analysis of threesomes and its consequence on others.

1. What is threesomes?

Threesomes, often described as a sexual act involving three people who may or may not be related to one another in any way. It is another form of group sex with one male/top and two females/ bottoms, or two males/tops and one female/bottom. It is also the easiest to organise; a couple just needs a single partner.

2. Does one's status matter? Will threesome be considered as cheating?
Threesome goes beyond status. It does not matter if you are attached or married. Just as long as both parties are consenting to it. However in terms of whether or not it is regarded as cheating, that will depends on the definition itself.

If by "cheating" you mean becoming sexually involved with someone without your partner's knowledge or permission, then threesome doesn't count as one. A successful threesome is when ALL parties are willing. That is, if your spouse agrees and even participates, well -- perhaps one way to look at it is that you've changed the "rules" in your marriage, at least temporarily, to "allow" behavior that might otherwise be considered cheating.

Now, if your definition of "cheating" is "adultery," or sex with someone other than your spouse (regardless of whether your spouse agrees or not, much less joins in), then a threesome might well be considered cheating.


3. Who is more genetically inclined to threesomes? Men vs women
Threesome is still considered as an art of intimacy. Based on research, threesomes tap into some of our most primal sexual longings, though more for men than women. Men are evolutionarily wired to want to spread their seed as far and wide as possible. The more women they mate with, ostensibly, the more variations of their genetic material that gets passed on to future generations.

A survey done in the 1980s put threesomes in the top list in most men's fantasies. Whereares for women, it is more of a blip on their erotic radar.


4. Consequences of threesomes
Good effects
a. Brings a whole new sexual experience to all parties involved
b. Heightened the excitement, especially during foreplay (more body contact)


Bad effects (much so on the women than men)
a. Risk of jealousy
Bringing a third person into one's sex life is never simple. Imagine having threesome with your husband/boyfriend and another gorgeous stranger. Hot body, perfect complexion and hair. She could just be a stranger he met in a bar, an acquaintance, a family friend or even work colleague. But why did he pick her? Threesomes can makes things rather complicated. Emotions are involved. And women can never help but be overwhelmed with jealousy and millions of doubts. What do you then?

b. Fear of inferiority (act of fairness and virtue of comparison)
He spends more time "pleasing her" than you. You are just an accessory next to them. How do you feel then? Won't you start comparing yourself with her? How fair is FAIR? Who is to judge when all parties are too intimately involved?

c. Losing the intimacy
Once you have ventured to threesomes, be prepared to lose that initial intimacy you both once share. Especially so for couples involved in a relationship, no more that pre-threesomes relationship. Out goes the "One-spouse rule & fidelity"! In with the group sex!

d. Love triangle
Inviting a once platonic friend into a sexual tryst can be messy. In this case, threesomes become an excuse for you to have a taste of what sex will be like with that person you once/or still harbour that romantic feeling for.


-> To my friend (disillusioned and naive enough to think a threesome can keep her man, to rid infidelity and lies), WAKE UP sister and smell the roses. Threesomes is not your solution to a healthy and eternal marriage. It only spells disaster!