Losing your sense of identity? Who's fault is it??

Had a very fruiful discussion in class today. The topic of discussion "Malay students are most prone to losing their sense of purpose/identity in life." A heated debate that went on for 1.5hrs long!

My take on it: I believe this social problem doesnt limit itself to a particular race rather it affects all races in singapore. Perhaps, the issue is just more prevalent in our community, looking at the high number of school dropouts, fights etc. Just why is it that these kids, intelligent and kind in nature, just lose that urge to succeed/excel, all of a sudden? Is it their fault, the parents, the school or the society?

I believe no one is born bad or evil. The surrounding/environment one lives in shapes the person to being who he / she is today. In all, the home is the first avenue to mould an impressionable being into becoming a respectable individual. Parents play a critical part in building the right principles and values into their child, creating a humble yet condusive environment for the child to grow and develop mentally and emotionally. Just when do they cut their leash on their young, and let them roam free? From the recent Perihal Generasi programme on Suria, the distinguished speakers debated about the role of parents: should they dictate the educational stream of their children. Is this advisable? Will the motivation/ purpose to study still be as strong when these children merely fulfill the dying needs of their parents (to be in the shadow of their parents.. and to fulfill an unfulfilled dream of their parent's past? I believe that children should be given freedom of choice, when it comes to educational choices. I have students who merely go to school just to silence their parents, but zero motivation to learn. Similar cases for some of my friends: went into engineering instead of mass communication (result of parent's choice). A decision that led to poor results, gloomy future and a loss of their sense of self actualization.

Quoted from one of my student: Buat apa nak pergi sekolah cikgu. Saya nak belajar art tapi mak tak kasi amik the subject. Saya tak suka science. Pure science lagi!

-> Trust in the decision of your children. They know what their strengths are.

Now, what about the school? Do they impact on these children? I have heard of cases whereby the school forced the students to drop certain subjects, approaching the major cambridge exams, just so to boost their school ranking. This is plain selfish and inappropriate in my opinion. Some schools however, shape the curriculum in such a way that is so inflexible that is at the disadvantage of the students. For instance, one of my students complained to me that she was not allowed to do history and art (2 of her favourite subjects) as her school does not offer such a subject combi. I do understand that MOE strives to create the most competitive educational system in the world. But, not at the expense of the children's preferences. They could be more flexible as to allow the students to opt for one of the fixed subjects in the curriculum to be changed to one of their choice or even offer as elective. In this way, the students can follow the route you have in mind and yet pursue their dreams/ passion to learn more about a particular subject.

Just show how difficult it is to grasp the role of a parent and a teacher. A developer, motivator and facilitator to a child's well being for now and the future. To all teachers: I respect you. Like how the Buddhist would say, "teachers are the most dignified and noble occupation of all." And to all my teachers, Thank you for making me the person i am today.

Society to be blame? Partly. A community that strives to be on par with the rest. To have a better percentage of elite to lead the rest to a better beginning towards a brighter future. But the nature of our people is still stuck in the conservative, herd mentality stance. "Be a teacher. Work for the government. Go to the university and take this..." the list goes on. These are some of the common phrases we hear from our parents. What they see as safe, as secure, is what their children should enter into. Do not rock the boat! But why are we as a community think this way? Why cant we do something outside the norm? In this case, to pursue singing, acting etc if that is what we are passionate about? Not enough money to support the family? The dollar sign rules out all possibilities. Forget about your dreams. Just bring food to the table. Sigh.

The malay community in general is still backward in our mindset. This is a serious issue to ovresee. In 10, 20 or 100yrs, when the country moves forward, we will still be many many yrs back. So start now. Let your kids purse their passion in life. This gives them purpose and defines themselves as a person.